Let me begin by mentioning how thankful and blessed I feel to be broaching this topic here on Gabby’s blog. If you know Gabrielle’s story, then you know how we painfully surrendered the expectation of a normal future for our little girl many times over.

I surrendered the expectation that my child would crawl, and walk, and talk. I surrendered the expectation that my child would feed herself, be potty trained, and climb in and out of bed.

I remember telling a few dear friends of mine (as I detailed the heartbreak, the miracles, the struggles, and the triumphs on this blog) how it had really become a dream of mine that Gabrielle would one day be able to *read* this blog and understand the amazing ways God had worked in her life.

As I shared this hope, I recall my eyes brimming with tears. The tears threatened to spill forth because I knew it would represent another miracle.

Another miracle I was frightened to hope or wish for. A milestone that could mean future independence. A milestone that would open so many doors to a bright and fulfilling future.

My Gabby, arriving at a place where she could read and understand written English, a miracle for sure.

So here I stand at the crossroads, about to embark on this journey, wondering if this will be part of God’s plan for my sweet princess, or not.

In trying to prepare and research the best approach, I accessed something that was filed away deep in the recesses of my mind.

I recalled reading somewhere, surely on another mom’s blog, how children with brain injury often learn best using a sight word approach in the first five years of development.

Upon googling, I immediately came across two books by Glen Doman: How To Teach Your Baby To Read and What To Do About Your Brain-Injured Child.

I was so anxious to read the books and get started, that I forgot to order kindle editions. Two days later my paperback books arrived, which I shall forever cherish as collector’s items, or more likely pass onto another mom.

I began reading How To Teach Your Baby To Read first, and found it to be very informative, logical, and exciting.

I taught my four oldest children to read using the phonics approach, and therefore I’m pretty familiar with the tedious struggles that it can introduce. It takes a lot of juggling and perseverance for the typical five year old to master all the different sounds and rules, in order to become a successful reader.

This book is inspirational because it argues that a child can grasp the written word, just as easily as the spoken word, if it’s introduced correctly and at the appropriate time (ideally in the first five years).

Heck, I thought, I can teach my three youngest to read simultaneously. And I was off….

Watch out world! I ordered a giant box of bold-tip red markers and a life-time supply of poster board, which arrived today. I’m ready to get started and will surely let you know how this goes.:)

As far as Glenn Doman’s other book goes, What To Do About Your Brain Injured Child, I’m half-way through and it is wow. Just wow. Now mind you, I studied psychobiology/neuroscience for my college major, so I’ve always found this kind of stuff interesting. But people, this book is completely fascinating.

If you have a brain-injured child, it’s a must read.

Are you treating the symptom or the problem itself? That’s all I have to say.

Right now I’m off to make flashcards. Lots and lots of large flashcards, with red bold print.:)

Goodnight.

Gabby was super excited to turn 5 this year. When asked what she wanted for her birthday…she responded,”I want presents, birthday cake, and ice cream!”

One week before her party she spotted a large brown shipping box in my closet.

She inquired,”What’s in that box, Mommy?”

I shared that the box contained presents, and her eyes grew large as saucers and a huge smile spread across her face.

“Presents for my birthday, Mommy?”

I assured her that she was correct.

We continued on with our morning routine, getting dressed and groomed for school.

We headed downstairs for breakfast.

Twenty minutes later she came up to me and said,”I love the presents for my birthday!”

She was just soooo excited!

We kept the party small. (Just our family, plus Uncle Russ and Aunt Nancy.)

We didn’t want Gabby to get lost in the busyness of a larger gathering.

We had all of Gabby’s favorites.

Pigs in blankets.

Pizza.

Candy corn.

Chips.

Ice cream cake.

The cake balls were something new, and she refused to try them.

And lots of presents!

She needed help with the ribbon but managed to do a lot of the unwrapping independently this year.

Strawberry Shortcake dolls.

A Barbie car.

Snap ‘n style dolls.

Books.

“Ice cream card” (McDonalds Gift Card)

She loved it all!

Then we lit the five pink candles. And with a little rotational help from Aunt Nancy, Gabby managed to blow them all out!

I’m pretty sure my little princess did not make any wishes, but her mommy did.:)

Wishes for many more years like this one…

Full of growth, milestones, accomplishments…

for my beautiful little miracle.

Being the mother of a special needs child can be challenging.

It can be exhausting.

It has many, many amazing rewards while at the same time it can be so very difficult.

Your child needs you in every way a typical child does in terms of meeting their basic needs, structure, discipline, and sharing time together, but there is also so much more.

Medical appointments, medication, developmental delays, therapy, orthotics, stretching, exercises, IEPs, and research, can consume a great deal of your time and energy.

The additional responsibility of being you child’s advocate, consistently fighting for what your child needs to excel, can be daunting.

Mom guilt abounds in an entirely new way.

Did I cause this?

We haven’t practiced handwriting.

The constant struggle of discerning when to help and when to stand back and let her struggle wears me down.

And then you find that person who helps shoulder the load.

A person who listens to all your worries and concerns.

A person who helps you navigate this life with a special needs child.

This week we took a moment to thank that very special person for everything she does to help our Gabby.

Below is the letter I wrote (from Gabrielle’s perspective) to our very favorite Physical Therapist (Betsy Murphy) at Abilitations Children’sTherapy. http://www.actwc.com/

Dear Betsy,

Cutely Yours,
Gabby O’Melia

Today I am raising an Ebenezer.

I am placing a stone, as Samuel did, to mark the place where the battle was won.

A stone to mark the place where victory was achieved with the Lord’s help.

I’m placing a stone to remind me of God’s faithfulness.

A stone to remember those darkest days of sorrow.

A stone to acknowledge the power of prayer.

I am placing a stone to express gratitude. A profound thankfulness for a fresh beginning.

I am placing a stone because we humans are forgetful. Time passes and the amazing intricacies of what God has done in our lives begin to fade. The details blur and grow fuzzy.

We begin to forget that we serve the same amazing God of the bible. A God of miracles. A God of love and mercy. A God who will never leave us nor forsake us.

I am placing a stone to mark 2 years of seizure freedom for our beautiful Gabrielle.

Then Samuel took a stone and set it between Mizpah and Shen, and named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the LORD has helped us.” —1 Samuel 7:12.

I could not possibly express this challenge any better than Charles Spurgeon did below.

“It is certainly a very delightful thing to mark the hand of God in the lives of ancient saints. How profitable an occupation to observe God’s goodness in delivering David out of the jaw of the lion and the paw of the bear; his mercy in passing by the transgression, iniquity, and sin of Manasseh; his faithfulness in keeping the covenant made with Abraham; or his interposition on the behalf of the dying Hezekiah. But, beloved, would it not be even more interesting and profitable for us to remark the hand of God in our own lives?” -C.H.Spurgeon

What has the Lord done in your life???

And you guessed it- Preggers!

I don’t function well when I’m pregnant. I feel really sick for the first few months. Stomach flu sick. Then the fatigue and baby brain settle in, rendering me completely useless.;)

All things optional are thrown out the window, including blogging of any kind.

But, I’m back! And all the difficult days were entirely worth it! Gabby became a big sister in March, to a new baby brother named…

Logan Robert

He is the sweetest little guy and we all just love him to pieces!! Such a precious gift!!

Gabby has been very good with baby Logan for the most part. She does have her moments…but don’t we all??

Where do I even begin to catch you up on everything going on with Gabby?!

Let’s start at the very beginning:

Two.

Pink.

Lines.

A positive pregnancy test and you add another face to the family portrait. You mentally install another carseat in the maxed out mini van. You set another place at the table. You order another stocking to hang from the mantle.

From the moment you discover that a new life is being knit together, expectations abound.

You hear the galloping heart beat and see four tiny limbs fluttering about. Your child is running on the playground; chasing after a soccer ball.

You learn the baby is a girl. She’s dancing, twirling, tossing her hair through the air. She’s pushing baby dolls that quickly turn into grandchildren, as your vision speeds through all the wonderful years ahead.

Your daughter is born with ten tiny toes, chubby cheeks, and bright blue eyes. She’s taller and thinner now…all in white, carrying a beautiful bouquet.

Your sweet girl is cooing and smiling at you. What will be her first word? When will she crawl?

Your baby is peacefully nursing and suddenly,

without warning,

every expectation is erased.

Seizures. Catastrophic Epilepsy. Medically Refractory. Cortical Dysplasia. Brain Surgery. Mental Retardation. Dependence. Mentally Delayed. Physically Challenged.

The labels are numerous.

You’re mourning the loss of the child you had imagined. The child you had expected.

You bargain, you question, you beg…

And God responds:

Trust Me. All things work together for good to those who love Me, to those who are called according to My purpose.

Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.

You surrender it all. Every hope, Every dream, Every assumption. The slate is wiped clean.

But Lord, How can this be good?

Be still and know that I am God.

Lay down your pen child. I am the Author of this story

And now, four years later, you begin to see the beauty of a slate that has been wiped completely clean.

You begin to see the beauty of surrender.

Because as promised, a good and wondrous thing happens…

Gifts.

Everything becomes a gift.

And here are the amazing and wonderful gifts God has chosen to fill our precious Gabrielle’s slate with:

- Gabby is the sweetest, most affectionate little girl.

- She’s so quick to smile and laugh.

- She LOVES books.

- She’ll find a bookshelf and sit in front of it for hours flipping through pages.

- Gabby loves: macaroni and cheese, cereal, pizza, yogurt, cheese and crackers, apples, chocolate milk, sweet tea, chicken nuggets, grilled cheese, and SUGAR! Anything else is risky.

- Gabby has 4 “best friends” at school.

- Gabby knows her colors, numbers 1-10, alphabet, and shapes.

- Gabby enjoys watching Dora, Caillou, Diego, and Leapfrog.

- She loves playing dollhouse, kitchen, and dolls with her sister Makinley.

- Gabby holds a pencil correctly and is able to make horizontal and vertical lines, circles, crosses, and is working on triangles.

- She’s learning to use scissors with righty and stabilize paper with lefty.

- She’s learning to dress and undress herself but still requires moderate assistance.

- Gabby independently uses the stairs.

- She climbs in and out of a regular twin bed.

- She loves to have her “computer time”, during which she lives on PBS and Starfall.

- Gabby feeds herself and can drink from an open cup.

- Gabby can lower pants and underwear to jump on the potty independently. Pulling them up is more difficult but she’s getting there.

- Gabby speaks in sentences but effort is required to put her thoughts into words. She especially struggles with more abstract concepts.

- Gabby has a stubborn streak. I usually appreciate this spunkiness but it can wear on me.

- Gabby has been seizure-free since last surgery.(9/2009)

- Gabby thinks she owns my iPhone and is quite good at finding her favorite apps.

- Gabby gives the BEST one-armed hug around!

- She says “I Love You, sooo much Mommy” daily.

“Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.” James 1:17

She ate chips without dip and drank sweet tea.

She opened presents….

She was positively glowing.

Even when little Kin-Kin mutilated her castle cake she kept on smiling.

So thrilled to have her family sing “Happy Birthday”.

And tried her very hardest to blow out the candles.

What a blessing to celebrate Gabby’s 4th birthday!

Here is a quick video clip of Gabby’s first impression of the balloon bouquet she received when the music began playing:

I can’t believe it!

She has been through so much.
We have been through so much.

So many trials. So many miracles.

Obstacles. Accomplishments.

A little life woven together such a short time ago that has touched so many lives.

And none of it will be unredeemed. Imagine that!

To celebrate all the amazing things God has done in and through her life so far, I created the following video:

Here are the lyrics to Selah’s song, Unredeemed :

The cruelest world
The coldest heart
The deepest wound
The endless dark
The lonely ache
The burning tears
The bitter nights
The wasted years

Life breaks and falls apart
But we know these are
Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But when anything that’s shattered is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed

For every choice that led to shame
And all the love that never came
For every vow that someone broke
And every lie that gave up hope
We live in the shadow of the fall
But the cross says these are all
Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But when anything that’s shattered is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed

Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But you never know the miracle the Father has in store
Just watch and see
It will not be
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed

Summer of 2007: Gabby spent much time visiting doctors, completing testing, and undergoing a right frontal lobectomy at Duke.

Summer of 2008: Gabby spent at NYU undergoing a 3 stage surgery which resulted in functional hemispherectomy.

Summer of 2009: Gabby’s seizures returned bringing us back to NYU for more testing and the completion of an anatomical hemispherectomy.

Summer of 2010: Gabby had fun!!!!

She swam. She played in sprinklers,
spraygrounds, and sandboxes.

She went to the fireworks. She ran barefoot.

She went down a water slide. She enjoyed her cousins’ company.

She jumped on the trampoline. She licked ice cream until it ran down her shirt. She picked blueberries.

She ate homemade pizza in her bathing suit. She ran around playgrounds. She danced to her favorite music.

She smiled. She laughed. She lived, free of wires, bandages, machines, doctors, and hospitals.

Thank you Lord, for this summer.

So as I began meeting other families at camp, many wonderful families who also had a child with hemiplegia, I inquired about approaches and success in the potty training arena. I was so encouraged by their stories. They all had positive outcomes. They all seemingly began with scheduled potty times and it gradually became a habit. I was ready to get started!

I armed myself with a few good children’s potty books and prepared myself to do battle. The first few days I spent an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom. (So glad we recently repainted the pepto bismol pink bathroom to a more soothing shade of blue.) We would be at that crucial juncture when you know the child’s bladder is ready to explode and you don’t want to risk taking them off the toilet for fear of missing the long awaited opportunity. My husband returned home from work one day and my eldest child announced, “Mom has been in the bathroom for like the last 3 hours!” Gabby would be trying to remove herself from the throne as her anxiety mounted with the sensation of a full bladder. I would be restraining her, distracting her with books and songs, and then finally she would relax her muscles. Voila! She would pee on the potty.

It only took a couple of days for Gabby to learn to control the muscles so that now when I sit her down she can go in under a minute. Gabby has not had an accident in a couple of weeks. She is even staying dry during nap time and through the night.

We went to Walmart, as promised, to purchase Elmo and Abby underwear which Gabby has been sporting ever since. Initially Gabby refused to wear clothing over the undies because she wanted to flaunt them, proudly parading about the house. Now she is once again open to wearing clothing and she tells me “Mommy, potty.”, when she needs to go. Then we bust into song together:

I’m off to the potty.
No more diapers for me!



I feel great,
I am proud of ….ME!

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